There’s a guy that sometimes swims in the fast lane at my local pool. He’s not a bad swimmer, I think he’s actually training up for a triathlon. However, he’s not that quick. He’s not slow enough to need to be in the medium lane, but he is often the slowest in the fast lane.
Now that wouldn’t normally be a problem… if he wasn’t a knob.
Unfortunately he just plods up and down the lane without ever letting people pass. The etiquette is quite simple – if someone is quicker than you, let them pass. It doesn’t matter if you’re in the middle of an important training set, because you know what – so are they!
I have mentioned this to him before and we came to a strange compromise – he suggested that if I wanted to pass him I should tap his toes. I wasn’t keen on the arrangement, but I agreed to it. So when I saw him today I made an effort to speed up a bit to make sure that I tapped him quickly so I wasn’t stuck behind him for another length.
For some reason however, instead of letting me turn and swim on, after waiting a couple of seconds he started to turn with me. So for a moment or two he was right on my toes. To do this once might have been simple poor timing, however to do it three consecutive times is just being a knob.
On top of that he was back to his old tricks and not letting anyone else pass. So when he turned into me for the fourth time I decided it was time to have a word.
All I tried to do was explain the etiquette, to explain that while he was trying to train hard, so were the rest of us and that everyone’s swim would be so much easier if he just behaved himself. But what I really wanted to say was… “stop being a knob.”
1000kmstowindermere 
I used to do lane swimming with his brother!! He used to try to do butterfly in the fast lane, at least I think that is what it was. He just sunk lower and lower into the water holding everyone up and clouting people coming the other way. On a serious note, I wish the lifeguards take a bit more responsibility for policing the fast lane. They don’t do much else.
I did have a word with a lifeguard as I got out – but to be fair, they’re all just spotty 18 year olds.
Someone else did agree with me as he got out – of course he didn’t say anything to the knob, let me do all that.
Ah yes, he was in my pool on Friday as well. I just don’t get people like that. They wouldn’t behave like that on the roads, so don’t behave like that in the lanes! Although that said, there are far too many middle lane drivers about for my liking too… !
Funny you should say that as I assume that anyone that swims like this is a bad driver too.
Either they don’t notice me there, or don’t care. Either way: knob!
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Hell is other people – I think this is a reason I don’t swim and prefer sole pursuit sports. Well, that and a 20-mile round trip to the nearest pool 😉
In theory swimming should be a solo activity too.