I’m trying really hard to even know what my emotions are right now, yet alone name them.
Despair – what is this world coming to, how can someone behave like this? How can disagreements, different points of view lead to murder? How is this possible, how do we let it be possible, how do we go on in a world where it is possible?
Anger – how dare people do this, how dare someone take a life in this way, how dare someone threaten our community, society and way of life in this way (because that’s what it feels like)?
Fear – how can my son grow up in a world like this? I want him to be open and loving and brave and honest and to strive for fairness and equality and respect for all. But these are not always easy things to be / strive for. They can anger some people. Do I actually want him to be quiet and silent and safe instead?
Sadness – obvious utter heartbreak for the husband and kids left behind, but sadness for us as a society too.
This is all in response to the truly shocking news about Jo Cox – however that seems to be just the rancid cherry on top of the cake of shit that the news has been full of in recent weeks. The shooting in the Pulse night club in Orlando and the horrible, bitter, false campaigning for the EU referendum (from both sides) and the rise of Trump and how his awful rhetoric has become mainstream are three of the other more obvious ingredients of this shit cake. I normally try to be quite positive about the news – even in the face of bad news, as usually even if it is terrible it is an ‘incident’, a one-off, no matter how individually horrific or sad. However, at the moment I just can’t be positive about the news.
Right now it feels as if the world is going to hell in a handcart. How do we stop this? Please let the good people win in the end.